THE HIDDEN TRUTH – THE UNTOLD SHIT: HE IS NOT THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER….NOW WHAT!!!

Father Doesn’t Bother

My father doesn’t bother to write or contact me.
I wonder what the reason is for him not wanting me.
I thought you said you cared.
You left me here little, alone, and scared.
I would have been much better off
If you had stayed over here with me.
Instead of saying those things you said,
I worked so hard not to care.
I just feel so sad, lonely, and blue
If only you knew all the things I’ve been through.
I’m sure it would have tempted you with a reason to stay,
all you left me was a chill.
Now my heart is empty still.
Was it so hard to love your child?
I’m sure you had to leave the state.
I hope you know you made my fate.
My fate of not feeling worthy of love.
So if I ever see you again,
I’ll read you the title of this poem,
I’ll turn the other way and say,
My Father doesn’t bother.
(Savannah L. Jackson)
Published: February 2006Read More

DIVORCE: CHALLENGE YOURSELF – FLYING SOLO, BALI… EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Early Saturday morning. My car, the parking lot at the Mall. Couldn’t remember how I got there. One of those days… when
you don’t see… don’t hear… don’t feel. I wandered, looking listlessly at… thoughts elsewhere, far from the beautiful decorations. Stared unseeingly at displays in windows… magical beaches, palm trees, laughing people. Wondered fleetingly when last I laughed unpretentiously, spontaneously. No escape from… a sadness that enfolded… engulfed… overshadowing all joy… all happiness.

Hours later – found myself in the smoking section of the Spur.. on my 5th cigarette… staring in utter horror at the air-tickets in
front of me. A return ticket to Bali. Booked, paid. Flying in less than two months!!! What have I done!!! Have I lost my mind. Read More

DIVORCE MADNESS: THE UNTOLD TRUTH – THE SHIT OF POST-DIVORCE DATING AND THE TERROR-REBOUND….

Three weeks after my divorce I was gallivanting with a junior article clerk, intoxicating looks, half my age for two weeks on an exotic island… temporarily forgetting that my life was in shambles… a 40-year-old single mother of two teenage sons…barely qualified attorney… hardly self-supportive… very irresponsible for a start. We’d go on long hikes, spend afternoons wrapped in my bed sheets, travel to tropical beaches…never to reach the crystal blue waters…Read More

THE UNTOLD TRUTH – THE SHIT ABOUT THE WEDDING RING… AND THE BROKEN VOWS!!!

My wedding-ring lies in a basket
as if at the bottom of a well.
Nothing will come to fish it back up
and onto my finger again.
It lies
among keys to abandoned houses,
nails waiting to be needed and hammered
into some wall,
telephone numbers with no names attached,
idle paperclips.
It can’t be given away
for fear of bringing ill-luck.
It can’t be sold
for the marriage was good in its own
time, though that time is gone.
Could some artificer
beat into it bright stones, transform it
into a dazzling circlet no one could take
for solemn betrothal or to make promises
living will not let them keep? Change it
into a simple gift I could give in friendship?
“Wedding-Ring” by Denise Levertov

I walked out as poor as a church mouse. My only valuables… my pride, my figure and a few pieces of second hand furniture. And, of course, my wedding ring – a brilliant, one carat flawless clear white diamond…. worth a fortune.

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DIVORCE – THE UNTOLD TRUTH, THE HIDDEN SHIT: FEAR & VIOLENCE AND PROTECTION ORDERS

ABUSE

From the Depths of despair when my world fell apart
I felt all alone and heavy in heart
My life had been shattered by a tight fisted hand
Who could I turn to, who’d understand?
So with no self esteem and in a broken mess
I made a decision about my happiness
I took all my courage I could find
to make a stand for myself and leave him behind
Those first few months were the loneliest I’ve been
But I knew it was worth it not to be hit again
Again in finding myself I cried a river of tears
Learning to love me and facing my fears.
(Misty Wildes)Read More

The Galaxy – Armageddon / Judgement Day

Throughout my life I was surrounded by exceptionally wise people… My Dad. His favorite advice in times of heartbreak… “It’s an infatuation my child. It disappears quickly when reality hits.” My lecturer Diko van Zyl… My mentor in law Leon …who taught me (in that special language we perfected…) “Gee die Doos net genoeg tou en hy hang homself…. En – Beplan!!! Jy kan nie sonder ‘n strategie werk nie… dan sien jy jou gat – sonder ‘n spieël.!!!” 

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DIVORCE – The untold truth

A journey from hell to health
Step by Step – Explicitly Told

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