My wedding-ring lies in a basket
as if at the bottom of a well.
Nothing will come to fish it back up
and onto my finger again.
among keys to abandoned houses,
nails waiting to be needed and hammered
into some wall,
telephone numbers with no names attached,
It can’t be given away
for fear of bringing ill-luck.
It can’t be sold
for the marriage was good in its own
time, though that time is gone.
Could some artificer
beat into it bright stones, transform it
into a dazzling circlet no one could take
for solemn betrothal or to make promises
living will not let them keep? Change it
into a simple gift I could give in friendship?
“Wedding-Ring” by Denise Levertov
I walked out as poor as a church mouse. My only valuables… my pride, my figure and a few pieces of second hand furniture. And, of course, my wedding ring – a brilliant, one carat flawless clear white diamond…. worth a fortune.
The divorce was settled. I was trying to make sense of what happened… to me, to my life, to my children. I was Gatvol. Bitter. Angry. Bankrupt. Thousands owing for a fruitless exercise…. with no money to pay for it!!! Advice from friends and family – sell The Ring. Pay your legal costs. Such a waste… the symbol of eternal love…. now to be used to pay for the murder weapon… the instrument that killed my eternal bliss. A mockery!!! Scandalous!!! No way!!!
Google: “ What to do with your wedding ring after divorce”
1. Symbolic of the now broken relationship, selling the ring to raise funds for the divorce is a financially savvy move. Cutting ties with your past while financially improving your future is a positive step forward.
2. Many women choose to sell their engagement / wedding ring and buy an item that then becomes symbolic of a new start – a painting, furniture.
3. Selling is a practical and financially smart step. Invest the money
No, not one option suited me. The right answer would come at the right time… probably in a dream… brought to me by my spirits… my guardian angel.
A week later I had my answer!!! A pamphlet on my windscreen – “special for two to Mauritius. One day only. Half price!!! Immediately… Pop – that friendly personal trainer with-a-body-like-Herculas at the gym… He was so caring…understanding… dried my tears, encouraged me, motivated me… why not??? Wedding ring put to good use!!! Exchanged for an idyllic week with cradle- snatched-half-my-age-good looking – gym instructor-gigolo!!! Definitely worth the while.
A week later I was waltzing on the white sands of Mauritius with 20-year-old-instructor-boyfriend, enjoying myself thoroughly between cocktails, bed sheets and crystal clear blue water from the proceeds of the sale of my one-carat-clear-white-flawless-diamond-wedding ring bought with the once-never-to-leave-me-love-through-sickness-and-health-till-death-do-us-part- money.
But – you must be wiser than me. Think long and hard what you want to do with your wedding ring and make a well informed decision. Don’t let anger or spite influence your decision…
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
(This song made we think about my island holiday long long ago….)