They say – No man becomes bankrupt so quickly than the one just served with a divorce summons.
I look at the world – The world of the Divorced.
I look at her face.
I look into her eyes.
I look beyond.
I see –
Desperation… lists and lists of numbers… balancing… debits and credits, not adding up…removing, adding… removing… considering. For others a given – for her, a balancing act. A choice between… responsible, answerable, firm, steadfast v being a mother… indulge, spoil, treat. But maybe to their detriment.
Fear… for the tomorrows… for not knowing how… where… how to. For realizing the limits to… only so much to be done…. and then no more…
Fatigue... soul and body. Working, caring, mothering, nursing, cleaning. Not enough hours in one day. Not enough strength in one body. Not enough energy in one soul.
Shame... for asking, begging, pleading… children who once received all… now barely seen, barely called, barely treated, barely existed. And always the words – spend too much… live too high… children can live with me if you cannot cope….And then the fear of losing them!!! Again the lists… checks and balances… adding and removing… mostly removing… getting on with the minimum… staying together.
Love… the one thing that will never disappear, no matter how rough the road. It keeps us sane, it holds us together, it makes everything worth the while.
PEACE… when you get into bed at night, the day’s ordeal forgotten, and you let out a sign of relief as you snuggle into your pillow…one thought remains – notwithstanding all this… the struggle and hardship… my freedom and peace of mind…. priceless…. not to be traded for anything in the world…
And when that financial burden becomes too heavy to carry, get help.
The Maintenance Court is there for each and every one of you.
To apply for a variation of an existing maintenance order, visit your nearest magistrates’ court to apply and take the following documents
• Birth certificate of your child/children.
• Your identity document.
• Proof of residence.
• A divorce settlement.
• Complete and submit form A.
• Proof of your monthly income and expenses.
• The personal details of the parent required to pay maintenance such as their name, surname physical and work address.
• Copy of your bank statement.
The application process
• A maintenance clerk will submit your forms to the maintenance office for review and registration.
• Submit proof of your monthly income and expenses such as receipts for food purchases and electricity/rent bills along with your completed form.
• You will then receive a reference number.
• The court will serve a summons (a letter instructing a person to come to court) on the respondent (the person against whom the claim is brought) to appear in court on a specific date to discuss the matter.
• The magistrate will review the relevant documentation. He/she will then make an order, and may decide to do so without requiring the parties to appear in court.
• If the responsible person doesn’t consent to the issuance of an order, he or she must appear in court, where evidence from both parties and their witnesses will be heard.
• If the court finds the person liable for paying maintenance, payments must be made. It’s a criminal offence not to pay.
Very important is to note that you have to show “changed circumstances” in order to succeed with a variation / increase application… children changing schools…retrenchment… losing job… extra- need children, etc.
(The Maintenance Act Explained – Department of Justice)
(This song is just so beautiful I had to share it. It is everything that is pure in life….)